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Pete Hegseth continues his war on the only enemy that matters: Beards

ohog5 by ohog5
October 29, 2025
in Politics
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Pete Hegseth continues his war on the only enemy that matters: Beards
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Protection Secretary Pete Hegseth is in South Korea this week as a result of if there may be anybody who has spectacularly failed upward, it’s Hegseth. , a bitter center supervisor fixated on grievances who satisfied himself that if solely he had been in cost, issues could be excellent. 

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Properly, Hegseth is in cost, and he’s laser-focused on what is admittedly vital: ensuring America’s armed forces are clean-shaven. 

What? You had been anticipating that his precedence could be, say, overseeing a bombing marketing campaign that’s fairly clearly extrajudicial murder? Hegseth can multitask!

Cartoon by Clay Jones
“Beardos and fatsos” by Clay Jones

So, whereas in South Korea, Hegseth has declared that he is not going to be assembly with any troops who should not clean-shaven. The rationale, in true Hegseth vogue, is a mix of rake-stepping and racism. 

The beard factor is a fully unhinged and bigoted obsession for Hegseth. Service members are required to be clean-shaven, however they will acquire a shaving waiver and preserve a beard if they’ve a medical necessity or a spiritual exemption. Nevertheless, since Hegseth’s eyes can’t abide the sight of a beard, he’s eliminated everlasting shaving waivers. 

Think about being within the navy, having spent your complete life ascending the ranks, doing the precise factor, gaining the respect of your troops, and having a former Fox Information host yell at you, “No extra beardos. The period of rampant and ridiculous shaving profiles is completed.”

Wait, there’s more: “We don’t have a navy stuffed with Nordic pagans. No extra beards, lengthy hair, superficial particular person expression. We’re going to chop our hair, shave our beards, and cling to requirements. In order for you a beard, you’ll be able to be a part of particular forces. If not, then shave.”

Do you hear your self, man?


Associated | Hegseth’s racism is hidden in plain sight


This fixation may seem to be only a bizarre idiosyncratic factor for Hegseth, one thing on which he locations outsized significance however doesn’t actually matter to others. Whereas it’s positively a bizarre fixation, what underlies it’s Hegseth’s fixed obsession with stripping the navy of everybody besides white males. 

Most troopers who want a shaving waiver for medical necessity are Black, as a result of Black males get pseudofolliculitis barbae, the place curly hair grows again into the pores and skin and causes painful bumps and scarring. The one real treatment for it’s not to shave carefully. About 3% of white males have the situation, however for Black males it’s wherever from 45-80%. 

So, Hegseth’s “no beardos” rule goes to disproportionately have an effect on Black males, which is exactly what Hegseth desires. Now, anybody who requires a shaving waiver for longer than a yr shall be involuntarily separated from the navy. 

However wait! Hegseth’s beard ban is a bigotry two-for-one. How environment friendly! 

The religions that require males to keep up beards are, nicely, let’s simply say they’re in all probability not religions Hegseth thinks ought to exist. Each Islam and Sikhism require beards, so this coverage may additionally have the impact of forcing these troops to decide on between their religion and their jobs. Actual good spiritual freedom you bought there. 

Though the no beardos requirement doesn’t kick in till the top of the yr, apparently the troopers in South Korea ought to have learn Hegseth’s thoughts and began scraping their faces clear in anticipation of his arrival. Those that didn’t had been disadvantaged of the respect of assembly with the protection secretary.

Properly, come to think about it, that’s in all probability higher than getting to satisfy with this specific protection secretary. Hegseth is an illiberal toddler in manner over his head, clinging to any manner he can exert his authority in probably the most racist, pathetic manner potential.
 



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